them men

“Well, as soon as he walks in the door, he says “what are we having for supper” and I say “I’m fixin’ hot dogs with cheese, and brown sugar beans, and a salad with peanut butter cookies for dessert” and he says “I don’t want no hot dogs” and I say “Whaaaaaat? You’ve been eatin’ my hot dogs for forty-five years and now you just don’t want ‘em anymore?” and he says “That’s right. I saw a thing on that Discover channel said you shouldn’t eat no hot dogs and I don’t want no hot dogs.” Can you believe that? Honestly, Betsy, I don’t know how I put up with that man.

“Ah, go on, Ruthie, he’s a good man and if he’s watchin’ his own diet, you’ll have him around that much longer, you know that. And what would you do without him anyhow, I’d like to know. Now, Joey -- he’s gonna end up wearin’ my fryin’ pan if he’s not careful.”

“Oh lordy, what’s he gone and done now, Betsy?”

“Well, you know how I said I’d make Jody’s cake for her weddin’ so I was workin’ on that plus I was puttin’ together a casserole for old Pete since Mabel just died, bless her heart, and I had a whole big lot of washin’ to finish up before Patsy and Jimmy and the boys come up this weekend, so I told Joey I’d like his help with some things. So he gives me that funny look of his and says he has to go out and mow the yard and I say okay and ask if he’d be sure to sweep the sidewalk and porch. You’d think I done asked him to take out his own appendix! But he finally says he’ll make sure it looks okay so what can I say, and I just keep on doing everythin’ else. I finally get the cake done, and put the casserole on the table to cool, and go out back to try to get those clothes taken care of and next thing I know, Joey’s eatin’ that casserole! I coulda killed him!”

“Oh my gawd and I would have finished him off for you. Does the man have absolutely no sense?”

“That’s right. And it’s not as if the funeral was a surprise -- he’s gonna to be one of the pall bearers. And I only make that casserole for when someone’s died.”

“Well, maybe you need to remind him of that fact. And tell him the next time you make it, you might be the only one eating it!”

“I swear, Ruthie, you can’t live with ‘em and you can’t live without ‘em. What’s the answer, I’d like to know.”

“I don’t know, but one thing’s for sure, if Hank wasn’t such a good kisser, I’d have sent him on his way a long time ago, but don’t tell him I said he was a good kisser ..... he’d blush.”