oh for pete's sake ....

i was just reading an article about superstition and the paranormal. i don't have a problem with people believing in ghosts or bigfoot or ufos. as long as people in charge aren't burning people at the stake for their beliefs, and the far-out beliefs aren't hurting anyone, i don't think it's a big deal. live and let live.

it's surprising to me, though, to read this quote: "regardless of the person or the phenomenon, paranormal experiences are purely quirks of the human brain" so says michael shermer who publishes skeptic magazine. i'm not going to bother checking out this guy or his credentials, but really. wrapping it up so neat and tidy just isn't the way the world works.

quantum physics is shadowy and mysterious yet has stood up to rigorous testing. how egotistical for smarmy shermer to declare that paranormal things are just imagined. making this simplistic ruling which discounts and discredits people, that is something that irritates me. buzz off, small man.

i was right!

this grand design book really is a curious and thought-provoking book. i remember one of my high school teacher's saying, just before the end of class one day, that the shortest distance between two points isn't always a straight line. i was floored. how can this be?

i was so taken by his statement that it's the only thing i remembered from ANY of my math classes from 9th grade on. i didn't care for math, having lost lots of ground when i moved in 7th grade and ended up with this HORRIBLE teacher who knew absolutely nothing about math and couldn't answer any of my questions. i was in tears because i knew it was the end of math and me.

but back to the straight line -- i always remembered his comment and one day back in about 1989 when we were hiking in the cascades, i finally realized i knew what his comment meant. we were following a trail along a mountainside (straight up on the left, straight down on the right) and i could see the trail we would be reaching shortly, across the valley on the right. our path was going to curve back around almost 180 degrees.

well, it was obvious! it was much shorter to continue on our drastically curving trail than to cut off to the right, in a straight line which just happened to go down and back up. it was so cool to KNOW that.

and here it is on page 101 of hawking's book -- "The geometry of curved spaces such as the earth's surface is not the Euclidean geometry we are familiar with." it goes on to show an intriguing diagram and then explains that if you took a route from new york to madrid on a flat map, it would be a straight line of 3,707 miles. but because the earth curves, the shortest distance is 3,605 miles and you go n.e. then e. and then s.e.

validation! by no less than hawking himself! yay!!!

i just saw these in an e-mail

two quotes:

“A man will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body -- the wishbone.” –Robert Frost

“I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.” –W. C. Fields

overheardinnewyork

Man: Hey, is that postcard in 3D?
Woman: Nope. It's just normal d.

Student #1: Yeah, but for Christmas break I'm gonna be in South Carolina.
Student #2: Really? I'm gonna be in North Carolina! Maybe we'll run into each other!

Thug #1: Nigga, you all old-like 'n shit. You be like, sixteen goin' on sixty.
Thug #2: Me?! Nigga, you got that shit all backwards. Look at Jerome. He be sixteen goin' on dead.

Father, to five-year-old son: I had no idea you liked AC/DC!

Mother, to son in stroller watching two shady characters: Oh, a drug deal! Sam, your first drug deal encounter.

Girl #1: Oh my god, he is *so* hot!
Girl #2: That's a woman!
Girl #1: Oh my god! Does that make me gay? Am I gay?

surfing

i haven't visited this web site in a long time -- http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

I Still Think She Was Just Fat from Eating
Woman #1 - “She wastes so much time at work. Did you ever notice she eats lunch, like, every day?”
Woman #2 - “Yeah, and do you really have to take maternity leave?”

I Can Feel My Pores Loosening Again
Girl to friend (smiling) - “I am so happy to have gone to the spa!”
Angry preacher passing by (screaming) - “You are all going to hell!”
Girl to friend (no longer smiling) - “I didn't need to hear that.”

We Heart This Guy
Awkward Japanese teacher - “So you guys use text messages, right? Like... L-O-L?”
(students look confused)
(awkward Japanese teacher laughs)
Student, proudly - “I know: L-O-L sensei!”
Awkward Japanese teacher - “Oh em gee.”

We Don't Serve That Here
Customer - “A hot coffee, please.”
Cashier - “Huh?”

Suit - “I think you would really like As Good As It Gets.”
Woman - “Is that the one with Jennifer Aniston?”
Suit - “No, it's Helen Keller.”

sit back and relax?

getting older has so many surprises. somewhere around 54 to 56 or so, you start to notice little things ... grey hairs (and not just up on your head), sparse hairs, tiny little wrinkles, you may not quite be able to recall things as quickly, you find yourself losing concentration, your yearly physicals may show evidence of new problems.

it can take a lot of patience to deal with these new things, and it can sometimes lead to mild depression. talking with someone else about this stuff is helpful and might turn up a suggestion or trick which makes things easier.

i am finally, for the first time in my life, (at 60) starting blood pressure medicine. i'm not happy about having to take it, but after 4 years of watching the values not stay down, my doctor sweet-talked me into doing something.

that's better than billy goat gruff at work. his wife (who is about 4 or 6 years older than he) was diagnosed last year with diabetes. she was VERY unhappy about it and cried a lot. i totally understood.

several weeks ago billy found out he has diabetes. his reaction was closer to angry disgust. i totally understood.

they are both watching what they eat now and starting to gradually loose weight. the biggest problem i see with that is that at their ages (he's about 64) any loose skin isn't going to snap back into position. that's a whole 'nuther depression-filled experience.

and like he finally said to me after he was done talking about his diabetes diagnosis, up-coming sleep test, and all his additional medicine, "golden years my ass."

i totally understood.

life and times

there are five of us in my group at work, although i have an office in the building on the east end of the third floor and they work in an office on the west end.

friday i was in their office arranging names on a large board when mr billy goat gruff smiled and innocently offered me some of the luscious buttery popcorn he had just microwaved. well honestly, i thought, that's like offering a drink to a wino. but i straightened my spine, turned back to my work, and quoted, "get thee behind me ...". mr gruff shot me a quizzical look (i mean, did he never go to church?) and queried, "get thee behind me?" so i adjured "... satan."

m, the gal who went to school at doane, totally cracked up. "she called you satan" she said, laughing for the next five minutes. mr gruff shot me a look and said, "get thee behind me satan? just remember payback is hell."

do you speak '60s?

"I knew I'd been living in Berkeley too long when I saw a sign that said 'Free firewood' and my first thought was 'Who was Firewood and what did he do?'" -John Berger

ahahaha -- those were the days .....

ain't it the truth!

i don't remember jokes well at all, but i have an stupendous ability to mangle one in the telling. however, yesterday one of my male cohorts and i were discussing the downside of getting older, and he made a one-sentence comment which i can maybe remember.

"Ah, well" he said, "we've got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel."

the visual totally cracked me up.

quotes

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -Rita Rudner

"People in motion tend to stay in motion. People at rest tend to rust." - Tim Lane

"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk." -Thomas Edison

"I'll tell ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people." -Bob Hope

"I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes." -Steven Wright

"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes --and six months later you have to start all over again." -Joan Rivers

i hated flying before but now ...

since we are going to be flying back to say good-bye to my dad, i decided to check out the latest info on airport passenger screening.

there's a 3-1-1 policy in effect regarding liquids/gels in carry-on luggage. i thought the best blurb was here: http://www.tsa.gov/assets/pdf/311-insert.pdf

permitted and prohibited items are explained here: http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/prohibited/permitted-prohibited-items.shtm

locks which are allowed on your luggage made by safe skies here: http://www.safeskieslocks.com/
or travel sentry here: http://www.travelsentry.org/products.asp (can be found at the rite-aid right here in our tiny little town.)

i overheard one of the higher ups the other day talking and he said, "the policy is zero-tolerance." so i would suggest we all plan ahead, take a lot of time and bring a good book, stay calm and unruffled, be polite to everyone (especially the tsa people), and of course act intelligently. even if you hate it.

i'd forgotten how funny ...

Young chick to pal: Carly Simon? Wasn't she the one who sang 'You're So Vague'?--Nail salon

Man on phone: I'm not saying it's your fault. I am saying you're a liar, but I'm not saying it's your fault!--10th & Broadway

Woman to little girl: To be perfectly honest it just makes you look dumb, because you can only spell backwards.--Times Square

Chick on cell: The only thing getting me through this day is the liquor at the end of the tunnel.--Columbia University

Guy yelling from street: Does anyone know where McDonald's is? Anyone? Anyone?! Help meee!--114th & Broadway

Dude on cell: I said I was born at night. I didn't say I was born last night. I'm not stupid.--Manhattan Mall

Man on cell: Yeah, but then once you graduate from college it's called alcoholism.--West Village

Woman: Why are you not breathing? You're the worst patient ever!--ER, Methodist Hospital

quotes from http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

good quotes

"The best eraser in the world is a good night's sleep." -Orlando A. Battista
"The key to getting ahead is setting aside 8 hours a day for work and 8 hours a day for sleep -- and making sure they're not the same hours." -Gene Brown
"The lion and the lamb may lay down together, but the lamb will have a harder time sleeping." -Alan Joseph
"I am a big believer in the power of Neuro-Attitudinal Positioning, or N.A.P." -Joe Tye

(These quotes originated in church bulletins, announcements, or related communications.)
The Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. ...please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the basement hall on Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Fasting & Meditation Conference includes meals.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Don't let worry kill you off - let us help.

from Tim Lane -- fitnet@lists.ia.gov (tlane@idph.state.ia.us)

bumped people, lost bags...

the airlines are having a lot of problems these days, but the flying public has become more complacent. read on ...

Airline hassles are on the rise: More passengers found themselves bumped, their flights delayed or their bags lost last year than in 2005 ... The report does not include recent weather-related flight delays such as the ones that left JetBlue and United Airlines planes idling for hours on taxiways.

“They just don’t get it yet,” said Dean Headley, an associate professor at Wichita State University who co-authored the study with Brent D. Bowen of the University of Nebraska at Omaha.

Industry spokesman David Castelveter blamed the majority of delays on bad weather. Making matters worse, he said, more planes will be in the air in coming years and the air traffic control system cannot handle the growth.

Southwest had the lowest number of complaints in 2006, 0.18 per 100,000 passengers. United and US Airways tied for the most, 1.36 per 100,000 passenger.

Hawaiian Airlines had the best on-time performance (93.8 percent) for 2006, followed by Frontier Airlines (80.7 percent) and Southwest (80.2 percent). Atlantic Southeast Airlines had the worst on-time performance (66 percent).

Last year, for every 1,000 passengers, 6.50 bags were lost, stolen or damaged, compared with 6.06 in 2005. Hawaiian had the best baggage handling performance; Atlantic Southeast the worst.

The increase in lost bags comes as at least one domestic carrier — Spirit Airlines — plans a new fee for passengers who check their bags. Come June, Spirit will charge $5 each for one or two checked bags if the ticket was booked online and $10 each for passengers who do not book online.

“It just seems to me that consumer expectations have been lowered,” Headley said, explaining that at the end of the 1990s and in 2000 the numbers of complaints were much higher, even though problems with baggage and delays were less frequent.

at least it isn't 'bumped bags, lost people' -- for the full story, go here.

the latest on Bumpah

"The latest news on Dad is that he seems to have had a mild stroke. He has lost some control on the left side of his face, and leans to that side. Clearly he is in the terminal stage of his disease. This is such a strange way to lose someone. It is like he has been gone for some time, but some part is still here. Maybe I can understand how Hamlet felt when he was haunted by dreams of his fathers ghost. No, he was crazy, I'm not. Thank goodness I don't have that mother/uncle problem. They are taking good care of Dad at Ashland. They are very upbeat, cheerful people, and I can tell that he likes them."

food safety tips

things to remember when buying food:

chicken -- "a color more brown than pink signifies the bacterial and chemical changes wrought by poor refrigeration"

hamburger -- "should be a vibrant cherry red; pass if you see even a touch of gray"

fish -- "the skin — shiny, good; dull, bad ... poke it. It should bounce back rather than staying indented"

eggs -- "flip the lid to examine every egg for cracks"

produce -- "Pass on produce that looks bruised or damaged in any way ... if you're planning to buy fruit that's been precut by your market, make sure it's been kept cold ... always place my hand on the top of wrapped, precut melons on display ... should feel pretty cold"

refrigerator -- "it should be set at 40°F or lower to keep food safe"

to read about cross-contamination and more info, go to http://health.msn.com/dietfitness/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100157058&GT1=9145

good grief!

i was happily listening to my favorite music station -- http://groovera.com/ -- when i noticed a new blurb on their home page. it seems the evil republicans have once again come up with an absurd plan to make more money, this time at the expense of music.

"... music royalty rates were recently determined by the Copyright Royalty Board (CRB) which, if enacted, would certainly silence most or all of my favorite online listening services. For most webcasters, this royalty rate represents more than 100% of their total revenues ... the CRB rate decision is retroactive to January 1, 2006 ..."

for the full story, go here. if you would like to sign a petition stating that you disagree with the rule, go here.

the money-grubbers in this country totally disgust me.

cosmopolitanality

we have recently discovered craigslist. we successfully sold our king-size box springs (from our mattress set in which the mattress was defective and returned to the factory) and put our heavy, sturdy, well-kept drafting table up for sale.

we only had one query and subsequent visit from a nice young mother (pretty pale brown skin and short, neat dreadlocks) with her young 5 year old in tow. the little one was tired and hungry but very well behaved, having taken his shoes off without prompting from mom as soon as they came in the front door in addition to being quiet and polite while the grownups talked. we went to the garage to look at the table, but he soon got cold so i took him back in and offered him apple cider and a couple of kids books to look at.

i went back to the mom to ask if he could have some mashed potatoes and she said, "i don't know. he's never had any." immediately i found myself in an alternate reality and as i made my way back again, i tried to cover up my stunned disbelief while she continued, "he thinks potatoes are french fries." i smiled, trying to gracefully move past my faux pas and went back in to offer him food. he didn't want any, but was extremely interested in the picture encyclopedia which, of course, i sent home with him.

but ... never had mashed potatoes? whoooooaa dude .....

inter-country cooperation

an article on the latest front page of our newspaper spotlighted the efforts to find an effective compromise to the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative which will soon require passports at all border crossings.

a number of communities along the border with canada are concerned about adverse economic impact. some people are concerned it's too much trouble and costs too much to get a passport.

and then there's point roberts, washington which is a bit unique -- it's bordered on three sides by water and the remaining side by canada. none of its soil touches the mainland, so the people in that area either need a boat since there is no ferry run, or need to go through the border crossing.

the comment that really caught my eye, however, was the following: "Ernie Bartucci, executive director of operations for the Ontario Minister of Transportation, called for a more flexible interpretation of WHTI and cited an example of a community on the Alaskan/Yukon border that has one school district between two countries." personally, i think that's very cool.

regardless, i like the idea of people being required to have passports and having to go through all the steps to get one. and to get a little away from the subject but still to this point, i was irritated by the florida woman who expected to be allowed to have a driver's license photo with her face covered (dictated by her faith). frankly, i'm against accomodating challenges which fly in the face of intent -- another example is those dark-tinted windows on so many cars, which not only can keep policemen from seeing potential danger, it keeps bicyclists and pedestrians from making eye contact to gauge safety.

oh well, change isn't always easy.

take a break

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and, whatever you hit, call it the target." -Ashleigh Brilliant

"I am firm. You are obstinate. He is a pig-headed fool." -Katharine Whitehorn

"When I was born I was so surprised that I didn't talk for a year and a half." -Gracie Allen

"A sobering thought: What if, right at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?" -Jane Wagner

"It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for two years." -Tom Lehrer

"You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'" -Dave Barry

"The second day of the diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it." -Jackie Gleason

"I went to a fight the other day and a hockey game broke out." -Rodney Dangerfield