true crime -- small town beat

September 10: Officers were dispatched to a report of a person trapped in a mudslide between Peace Portal Drive and the railroad. They arrived to find the victim homeowner in a berry dire predicament. A few minutes earlier he had been trimming the blackberries behind his house, blissfully unaware that the large bushes hid a slippery edge between his property and a steep embankment. He took one final step, and the gravity of his situation became suddenly clear. After a several yard fall through the mud and shrubs, the blackberry thorns dragged him to a halt. It took a bunker-geared fire crew with ladders to extract the gentlemen. Aside from obvious scratches and a berry stained ego, he was unharmed. Officers are recommending him for a new Deadly Yard of Week Award.

September 11: A resident called to report a theft from the Night Heron Drive area in Semiahmoo. Sometime between 4 p.m. and 8 a.m. a three-foot tall steel heron sculpture was stolen from the victim's front yard. No witnesses have yet been identified. Officers are looking for a thief with better taste than morals.

September 16: A man left municipal court after speaking with the judge about his driving while suspended offense. A public safety department employee then watched him climb into his vehicle and drive away. Police confirmed that the man's driving suspension is still in effect. He will be receiving a summons by mail for the new offense.

September 20: Multiple motorists called 911 to report a possibly suicidal female perched atop the SR 543 bridge over the I-5 freeway traffic lanes. Police contacted the young woman. She was not self-destructive, just enthusiastic about taking photos for a school project. An officer transported the teenager off the bridge and to her house.

September 21: Officers responded to a landlord-tenant dispute. The reporting person stated that her landlord was on the front porch, would not let her shut the door, and was refusing to leave. Officers arrived and found that the dispute was entirely civil, and the property owner was the renter's father. Officers mediated an agreement and the parties separated peacefully.