overheard in ny

Hobo sitting against building: Hey! You!
Girl walking by: Yeah?
Hobo: Want to go jump in the East River with me?
Girl, stopping and looking at him: Not a bad idea. Maybe later.
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Subway employee: And what kind of cheese would you like on your turkey?
Woman: Tomato.
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Guy: You should've sat at my end of the counter. I'm rich and well hung.
Girl: You should've sat at my end. It doesn't turn people into assholes.
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Girl #1: You know my half birthday was yesterday?!
Girl #2: Yeah! So you're 18 and a quarter!
Girl #1: I'm 18 and two thirds!
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Redhead girl: No, I totally want you to meet him -- I just don't want him to meet you.
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Guy to friend: I went to the anarchists' meeting, but they turned out to just be a group of spoiled, white, middle-class kids.
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Girl #1: Ugh, the economy is so bad I don't know how I'm going to get through the recession.
Girl #2: Oh my god, I know! I mean, I lost my job and now my parents are only giving me $50 allowance a week!
Girl #1: Wow, that's crazy! Only $50?