and now, these weirds from our sponsor...

the FitNet guy, who i like so much, had a funny thing going this week -- i've reprinted it for your viewing pleasure:

"This week I am going to share entries from a contest sponsored by The Washington Post. In this event they partnered with Mensa and asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition."

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

To subscribe, send a blank email to join-fitnet@lists.ia.gov .