gimme food

“Are you sure there will be something there?” Antze was grumbling again.

“Sure, I’m sure,” replied Snortz. “It was granddad’s map and I found it hidden in his room, so it’s got to be real.”

“Why didn’t you ask him about it when he was alive?”

“Well now, I didn’t know about the map when he was alive, did I?”

They snipped at each other a little while longer, then settled back into their routine. Antze was the pilot of the massive old ‘bucket of boltz’ as his mom always called it. Snortz was the navigator and communications spec. They each were well versed in a number of other fields, as anyone needed to be who flew in hyperspace. They got along well and managed to earn a pretty good income from their asteroid scavenging.

But their latest venture was risky, especially since it was based on an old map which couldn’t even be authenticated. Granddad was an accomplished explorer in his day, but if this whole thing was just a joke, they would be in debt. On the other hand, this was definitely going to be a treasure map if it turned out to be accurate -- it showed the location of food. Massive amounts of food, just waiting to be plucked. Food was always an issue, and to find a secret storehouse of food would make them rich beyond their dreams.

“Okay, we’ll be coming out of hyperdrive in 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 ...” and suddenly things were right-side-up again. Not literally, of course, since space had no up or down, but the sensation you got in hyperdrive always felt wrong and when you came out again, things felt right. It was weird, but there it was. Everyone just accepted it.

“Antze, you did a great job. We are right on course and need to move in quickly but quietly. Granddad’s notes say the food is semi-intelligent and easily panicked, so we will go in on the dark side and stake out the biggest group. At that point, we can seed the area with doppz, load them in a jiffy, and keep the whole group sleepy but alive until we’re back home.”

“You got it, Snortz, here we go...”

The next morning there was massive panic as humans tried to accept and explain the disappearance of most of the people in the Middle East. It would go unexplained and six months later it would happen again. It would continue that way until there was only a small population left in Australia, Montana, and Wales. Those areas would be left undisturbed for another two thousand years so the food could re-establish itself.

Snortz and Antz would become very rich, and would put a treasure map for their grandchildren in an excellent hiding place.