overheardinnewyork

Man: Hey, is that postcard in 3D?
Woman: Nope. It's just normal d.

Student #1: Yeah, but for Christmas break I'm gonna be in South Carolina.
Student #2: Really? I'm gonna be in North Carolina! Maybe we'll run into each other!

Thug #1: Nigga, you all old-like 'n shit. You be like, sixteen goin' on sixty.
Thug #2: Me?! Nigga, you got that shit all backwards. Look at Jerome. He be sixteen goin' on dead.

Father, to five-year-old son: I had no idea you liked AC/DC!

Mother, to son in stroller watching two shady characters: Oh, a drug deal! Sam, your first drug deal encounter.

Girl #1: Oh my god, he is *so* hot!
Girl #2: That's a woman!
Girl #1: Oh my god! Does that make me gay? Am I gay?